Friday, 7 March 2014

The inevitable news

Prior to having the scan and CVS, these were my fears: 1) I was frightened that the baby would already have abnormalities that would make a CVS redundant, 2) I was frightened that the baby might already be dead 3) that I wasn't pregnant at all and the whole thing had been my imagination. Apart from absent periods, I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms - nausea etc - although this is just like my previous pregnancies. 

We were both hoping that the baby would look normal for that stage of the pregnancy and that we'd go into the CVS with some hope. 

However, it has not turned out to be. I am currently 11wks and have just returned from the hospital. The baby is covered in hydrops/oedema (it's like a halo around him/her and the nuchal is 6mm. Our poor little baby. We went ahead with the CVS anyway, but knowing full well what the results are going to show. We know there's no hope, and we've already told the hospital of our decision. I should be scheduled in for Tuesday or Wenesday. 

Sorry to give you all this bad news. I rolled the dice, played with the fire and got burnt. 

I promised DH from the outset that I wouldn't be the mess I was after the first two times and I don't think I will be. I'm going to take the whole of next week off work or see if I can work from home for when necessary. Then our next decision is whether to tell our families. Apart from me, DH and you, my online friends, no-one knows about this pg. I may tell my sis and test the water about telling my parents. Who knows, we will take our time deciding. Anyway, that's it for now. 

10 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear, this must be so difficult for you. I know I always get my hopes up. Prayers to you and your husband.

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  2. I want to say a whole string of very bad words for you. You seem so kind-spoken though, so I'll keep them to myself. I will say to you though that this is SO wrong. I was really really hoping that this would be a healthy baby for you. I am just... so, so sorry. Please know that people are thinking of you with peaceful wishes.

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  3. I am so sorry to hear this news! My heart is just breaking for you. It is just so unfair that your sweet little baby is not healthy. You have been through so much, I was really hoping this was it for you. How devastating, once again. Take the time you need to heal from this. Hugs!

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  4. I am heartbroken for you. Truly. I am so sorry.

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  5. so so sorry...sending you all my thoughts and stregnth xxx

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  6. So sorry to read your news, am thinking of you x x

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  7. I am so sorry. I wish I had words for you, but we know that there are none. The only thing that I can tell you is that you should not apologize to us for giving us bad news- you are at the center of this. I have never been faced with an agonizing decision such as this- cannot imagine, I am thinking of you tonight.

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  8. Deeply sorry and sending my whole hearted support. x

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  9. Thank you ladies for your kind comments. Sadly, the deed is done. It went well and a far less traumatising experience than the other times. The staff were very nice. The whole thing has made me think I should get sterilised and be done with it. I'll update next about when we hear back on the CVS results.

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