Sunday, 30 March 2014
Mother's Day, Egg Donation and After Tiller
It seems fitting to post on Mother's Day. When you're not a mother and want to be, the whole day is a bit of a downer. I saw my own mother, but stayed well away from the BILs and SILs, principally because they are so unbearably smug, at least to me.
Anyway, on Thursday DH & I went to a clinic in London that is one of two clinics setting up an 'egg bank'. While I'm told they are still some way off from actually having a reserve of frozen eggs on tap, they did say that the HFEA's increased payments to potential egg donors means that a lot more women are now willing to donate, and that they no longer have a waiting list. I think we are still keen on trying the UK first, simply because it's easier in terms of travelling and secondly that at least the child has the option of being able to trace their genetic mother when they are 18. However, it does seem extraordinarily expensive. It's going to be much more expensive than PGD. The basic cost, at least with this clinic, is £8,800, and by the sounds of it you can easily end up spending £12/15k on just one cycle, depending on all the 'extras' you may need. Gulp.
In terms of a match, I would rather have a lady who looks like me as much as possible, but you really are in their hands in terms of who they ultimately pick. In terms of timing, because I am still recovering from TFMR No3 (I can't believe I typed those words) , I need to wait at least two periods before starting anything, which sounds sensible. Given my irregular cycles, this probably means that we are looking at June before starting anything. So that will be half of 2014 gone already, and we will still be no closer to having a family than when we started in 2007. Ho hum.
On another note, I watched After Tiller the other day. If you haven't heard of it, it's a documentary about the doctors in the US who carry out late pregnancy terminations. Because of the ire that abortion causes in the US, there are only four doctors who carry out the procedure in the whole country. It's very, very odd for me to think that a subject as deeply controversial as a late-term abortion is now part of my own personal experience. Before I was just a spectator - it was a topic that had nothing to do with me but I could pass an opinion - but today it's a topic that effectively defines me. It's a big part of the reason why this blog is anonymous - would it be safe for me to known? It's probably not worth the risk.